For that extra special shine

It's almost as if he has no self awareness at all.

Why does the same guy who expects me to feel wonder and awe at how mind-bogglingly bizarre quantum physics is, also expects me to not to think it's weird that he believes his ghost will get to live in a magic wonderland after he dies because some guy got nailed to a tree 2,000 years ago?

What do you mean, you ate its brain?

Tongue is the same too.

On the bright side, my iPhone is now an iPad.

Slightly Closer to Infinity and Then Beyond

Why haven't we been back to the moon?  The answer is simple.  Because we only stopped to pay attention when Neil Armstrong died and not when Peter Conrad, Alan Shepard, and James Irwin died.  We don't care about third, fifth and eighth place.

I find Sean Connery perfectly understandable when he gargles inside a diving bell. Why do you ask?

I've been reading about how Americans apparently had trouble understanding the character Bane in the latest Batman movie. How odd. Personally I would have found it a lot easier to understand the dialogue if all the other characters in the movie had been replaced with Bane. But I guess this would have made a few other things confusing, such as Bane's motivation and the love scenes.

He gets his thrills from mandrills.

Republican Canidate and Medical Genius, Todd Akin:

Book Review: The Adventures of Four Busty German Women Who Can't Afford Adequate Clothing

I recently finished the modern German novel, The Adventures of Four Busty German Women Who Can't Afford Adequate Clothing, by Gross Wundarbusen.   It's a good read, but I think it probably loses a little something in the translation.  

In this age of ultraslim electronic book readers, I have to say that I admired the paperback's sturdy spine and light weight that made it very suitable for reading with one hand.

With regards to the story, I'm sorry to say that all the ins and outs of the plot got a bit repetitive at times, what with the constrant string of sticky situations the Frauleins got themselves into, but towards the end it picked up the pace and bounced along at a good speed before finally coming to a satisfying climax.

I heartily recommend the novel to anyone with an interest in modern German literature, and to anyone who wants a close up and personal view of the effect of the Euro crisis on young busty German women and how it turns every transaction from plumbing services to pizza delivery into an informal sector transaction. Reading it, one cannot help but be shocked at the declining tax base of the German state.

And I will say that the book reinforced my previous view that Germans are kind and generous people. Despite the nasty reputation they got in the last world war, if you are on fire Germans will piss on you. And quite frequently also when you're not.

So how many stars do I give it?  Well, none so far.  Just one large splotch.

 

I sense a disturbance in the force. Specifically right between my shoulder blades.

"How about I pretend to feel the power of the dark side?"

Will Computers One Day Be As Dumb As Humans?

I don’t think it will be too difficult to develop strong AI. That is, artificial intelligence that can do many things that human intelligence can do, but isn't necessarily the same as human intelligence.  But this is not because I am confident we will continue to make technological break throughs, it’s more because I don’t think humans are as intelligent as many of us think we are. Some people see the absurd difficulty we have in trying to make a robot do something like fold clothes and assume if we can’t even get it to do that properly we must be a vast distance from making a machine that can discuss Shakespeare. But for the human brain, folding clothes and discussing Shakespeare are roughly comparable in difficulty. (Personally I find folding clothes more difficult. It’s much harder to fake being good at folding clothes than it is to fake being good at Shakespeare.) Currently computers are lousy at understanding normal speech, but they are definitely improving. And once they can understand normal speech, well that’s it, that’s strong AI. There is nothing else that needs to be done. And it doesn’t matter how it does it, whether it is “cheating” or not. Animal brains cheat all the time. So will an improved version of Siri or Watson be strong AI? Yeah, it will. Of course, there will be no end of people who will say it isn’t, and many will even point out that their mobile phones agree with them.

It's sonic.

This fissure looks like it's full of organics...

Trust me, you don't want to know how it got in there.

Gun Nuts!

There are many people posting pictures of guns on facebook today and I just have to mock them by sticking captions on them.  The scary thing is I only have about three facebook friends. Is that a stable situation? Three gun nuts and one gun knocker?  Oh, excuse me. I have to go now and chase that red dot that's just appeared on the wall opposite my open window.

Damn! I was just chasing a red dot and I saw all these holes in the wall I never noticed before. What will my landlord say?

Great! Somehow I've managed to cut myself on the back of my arm and the front of my arm at the same time and I only have one band aid.

And there's another hole in the wall! Where are they all coming from?

Oh typical. Gavin Just showed up with a smoking gun and asked if he could borrow some bullets. When I said no, he asked if he could borrow my hunting knife and I said no because it's mine and I paid for it and it cost me like $4 and I bought it at a police auction and it was made in Brazil and it's probably been used to kill like real Brazilians. Then he karate chopped me in the neck and that didn't work because I have no reflexes and then he ran away crying because he hurt his hand. What a wuss.

The police just turned up at my flat. I told them, no you can't have your knife back, I paid for it. And they said no, they wanted to know if I knew anything about a man firing a gun in the area. I didn't tell them anything. Mates gotta stick together.

I'm Here For You Man, I'll Always Be Here For You...

Oh Sandy!

Take This, You Mother-Spawning Son of a Fish!

The Hardest Part Was Getting The Final Nail In.

Logically, There Can Be Only One

Delicious Scavengers of the Dead!

Don't Judge Someone Until You've Thought Long and Hard About What Their Shoes Must Feel Like

I used to think I was empathetic because I was very good at imagining what other people's shoes must feel like.

God, Guns and Apple Strudel Are What Made Germany Great

Dude, Check Out The Shiny Metal Butt Plate On That Droid!

For Maximum Production the Squeezing Has To Be Synchronized

By God, This Is Typical!

So Typical!

Very Typical!

An Open Letter To Google.

Dear Google

Are you aware that when you call athletes national heroes as you do today on google.com.au it sounds like you are taking the piss out of them?  Maybe you want to change that to say 'sporting heroes' instead, just so nobody thinks you are trying to take the mickey out of them by comparing them to someone who carried their wounded mate on a stretcher for days over the kokoda trail.

This Always Happens!

Curious and Curiouser

Mars, We're Just Probing You Because of Curiosity.

Well, we've got roughly a day before we find out if the most complex robotic instrumentation package ever sent to mars, one that's every bit as good as an astronaut except for sex fantasies (most people's sex fantasies), can prise away a minute or two of the developed world's attention from the olympics.

A Really Good Look

Stop Public Funding of the Olympics. Have More Fun.

Some people are having a go at Australian athletes for crying when they don't win gold. These emotional break downs do not mean that the athelete is a bad person. What it does mean is that we have a bad system that takes young people and gets them to stake their self worth on coming first out of seven billion people. We should stop this shit. We should just stop it. We should take all the funding for we spend on the olympics, every cent of it, and spend it on ordinary people playing sports for fun. And at least two thirds of it should go towards making sports and physical activity fun and non stressful for fat kids. Now I'm not saying we should stop people competeing in the Olympics. If that's what you want to do, go for it! Good luck to you! But what I am saying is that we shouldn't be contributing public funds to it because it's a waste of our sports dollars. We'd get more benefit and more enjoyment from organising kids to run around the botanical gardens with nerf guns than we would from trying to shave a thousandth of a second off an olympic hurdler's time. Now some people will say that we should fund the Olympics for patriotic reasons. That it's important for Australians to win gold for reasons of national pride. In that case I'll ask these patriotic people to name three Australian Noble Prize winners. Yeah, that's what I thought. And yes, using Wikipedia is cheating.


We should stop this shit and have more fun.

Straight From the Horse's Dextrous Hooves

The Queensland government is cutting $130 million from the Royal Brisbane and Womens hospital and the Metro North Hospital while giving $110 million to the racing industry. Now some people would say this is a bad thing and that the government hasn't got its priorities right, but the racing industry needs money too. After all, the Gold Coast Turf Club has to build a slick new bar and foyer and cheap tat doesn't come cheap. So I think there is room for compromise. And the obvious solution is to have horses perform surgery.

A Message From Gnarl's Magic Emporium

It's a Five Year and Nine Month Plan

He Ate Belgium Once And Didn't Like It.

Neither Are Quite As Good As Graeme Garden