Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Friday, July 17, 2009

I’m afraid my new job isn’t working out to well. I’m starting to think it’s just a little bit dodgy. There was something fishy about my orientation that I couldn’t quite put my finger on:

MANAGER: Then after Bert has stunned them and Pigdog has put them in the tub of ice, your job is to remove their kidneys.

ME: Are you sure this is legal?

MANAGER: Well of course it is! You've heard of organ transplants, haven't you?

ME: Well, yes.

MANAGER: And how they save thousands of lives each year?

ME: Yes…

MANAGER: There you have it! You're helping to save lives!

ME: But aren't we only supposed to use willing donors?

MANAGER: They're all volunteers.

ME: Shouldn't volunteers attempt to run and scream less?

MANAGER: No, no, those are both perfectly normal symptoms of excess kidney syndrome. And you wouldn't want them to suffer from that now would you?

ME: I guess not...

MANAGER: Well then, get to it. Pick up your meat cleaver!

ME: Allright then... (CHOP!)


MANAGER: See, obvious case of excess kidney syndrome.

ME: Those aren't kidneys.

MANGER: Close enough.