Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


I bought some American food for dinner last night - tuna bake. So I heated it up and ate it, and I thought it wasn't that great and not really the sort of thing that I'd expect Americans to eat. Then this morning I looked at the empty jar and saw it was just tuna bake sauce.

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Monday, January 28, 2013

Vietnam Bex

You can't buy Bex in Australia anymore.   As a result I am completely at a loss at what to do when I need a Bex and a good lie down.  As a result I haven't laid down since 1982 when my supply ran out.  Fortunately my good friends, Pigdog and Spider, have discovered that they still make it in Vietnam and have promised to bring me some whenever they go overseas.  If it wasn't unpatriotic, I would say that it's even better than the original.  (Still haven't managed to lay down, however.  But that's okay, I just take more Vietnamese Bex.)

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Sunday, January 27, 2013

I take it that it occurs between two goats who like a bit of rough?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Sweet Lemonade, Sweet, Sweet, German Lemonade...

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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Campbell Newman Has Australia's Largest Sack

Definition of Chutzpah:  Queensland Government sacks 14,000 - blames US for increase in unemployment.

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Saturday, January 19, 2013

Just Working My Way Through the Phone Book Now

I think I am very close to solving the mystery of who stamped the initials CC all over the Adelaide horse racing grounds.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

How To Avoid Age Related Decrease in Physical Ability

The trick to growing old without experiencing a progressive loss of physical ability is to, when young, make a point of being really lazy and unhealthy.  And then as you get older, gradually eat better, exercise more, and freebase clearasil less, and if you time it right your improving physical condition will offset your age related health deterioration.  Of course, your total life expectancy will be less than if you'd been healthy from day one, and apparently people can find it difficult to break unhealthy habits once they start them, but if you do it right at least you won't be going backwards.  At least not until near the end.  Which might come soon depending on how successful you were at being lazy and unhealthy early on. 

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

Speaking Truth to Power is Always Difficult

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Monday, January 07, 2013

Hawkmen Biology

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If Imelda Marcos Knew More Maths She Could Have Created a Shoe Singularity

I spent $70 today and it only bought me 6 shoes. But on the bright side, if I mix and match it allows me to chose between a total of 9 different potential pairs of shoes. And if I don't mind wearing the left shoe on my right foot it actually doubles the potential pairings up to 18. Kids, this is why you should stay in school. With a little maths you can triple the pairs of shoes you have.

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Friday, January 04, 2013

Tips for Surviving the 44 Degrees Celsius Heat in Adelaide

1. Don't let the sun shine into your home. Trapping the heat behind curtains isn't a perfect solution, but it's better than letting the heat roam through your house.

2. Turn off lights and electronics you're not using. They all generate heat.

3. Stay hydrated.  Check your electrolyte levels by putting a little salt on your tongue.  If you can't taste the salt it's a sign you need more salt.

4. No air conditioning and temperatures are rising? Head to the shopping centre. 

5. Call grandad and make sure he's okay and isn't trying to survive the heatwave with only a small esky of beer like they did back on the Kokoda trail.

6.  Don't wonder around outside.  

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Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Target Shooting With Simulated Guns for Fun and Profit and Above All Else, Safety.

I recently read about the vast amount of ammunition that is used by target shooters in the United States and elsewhere.  So I started wondering, why isn't the sport of target shooting practiced with simulated guns?  In our modern age of lasers and moving parts and refined metal and stuff, we are quite capable of building devices that act like firearms but which don't actually spit out a piece of metal at high velocity.  They can even be made to go bang and emit the smell of burnt smokless powder.  And we are quite capable of using a TV screen or other device to display a target showing where the bullet would have gone if the device had actually been a gun.  Various types of simulated guns currently exist.  Militaries have been mucking around with them for quite a while in the hope of cutting down on training costs and improving safety.  To get the ball rolling, I think the next Olympics should have simulated weapon target shooting. 

Of course those who are attracted to target shooting because of the role guns play in dominance fantasies in our society will probably think this idea will spoil their jollies.

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Joy to the World, the Lord is Seminal. (2013 update)

Joy to the world, the world's still here,
The Mayans could not kill us,
And so with relief we all cheer,
Although the thought did thrill us.

Joy to the dirt, for some clouds rained,
Just not in the U.S.,
More rain it would be nice also Greenland retaining ice,
But you can't have everything I guess.

Joy to world for Germany saved us,
They reduced the price of PV,
All we need to do is install all across the world,
If Campbell Newman lets us.

Joy to the world because I am rich,
I've got lots of money,
And I will keep it all and not give it to the poor,
Because I look tall if you're standing in a ditch.

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