Mathew 16:18 A Ghost Story

And Jesus Christ said, "I tell you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I shall build my church." And that's why, when all is quite, if you place your ear against the floor of any church aisle you can hear muffled screaming.

Actually it was two days, but bible people aren't good with stuff like that.

Jesus had the right idea for Easter.  Got hammered and then slept for three days.

Parting can be such sweet sorrow, but endings can be quite happy.

Basically, he just sat on his arse all day.

I mean, really.  If you're just going to make shit up as you go along, wouldn't it simply be easier to be an atheist?

You sass that hoopy Lord Jesus?

The Hardest Part Was Getting The Final Nail In.

Dude, Check Out The Shiny Metal Butt Plate On That Droid!

A Hairy Situation

I have not shaved for two weeks and look surprisingly like a Jesus. Which Jesus you ask? Why Aryan Jesus of course! The most popular of all the Jesuses! Fortunately, I don't look like the more realistic Get Body Cavities Searched Before Boarding An American Airplane Jesus.

 

A Man's Got To Eat

Stop Using Telekinesis to Plane the Wood!

Nice Space Helmet You've Got There

This Happened a Lot in the 50s

It's Nothing Personal, He Just Never Remembers The Safe Word

At Least Yours Aren't Radioactive

Te Sunt Faciens Nefas...

Sunny Days, Sweeping the Clouds Away, On My Way to Where the Air is Sweet...

Ronald: Why didn't you put this up a little earlier during Easter?

Brak: Because Jesus has has nothing to do with bunnies and chocolate eggs!

He'll Probably Be Dead From Skin Cancer By The Time He's Thirty-Three

No Sense Looking for Jesus. He Done Be Missing.

I was driving home and I saw a sign in front of a church that said, "In the puzzle of life Jesus is the missing piece". Well that explains a lot. I went looking for Jesus in history and I couldn't find him. I went looking for him in science and he wasn't there. I even went to Philosophy and asked after him and I got pointed in his direction and all I found was a guy called Confucius saying, "I was here first!" But if Jesus is missing like that one piece of the jigsaw puzzle, well, there not much sense looking for him. In my experience that missing piece never turns up.

I thought I would find Jesus when I looked for him in Mexico since he's in the phone book a lot, but all I found were lots of guys called Hey-soos.

Those Were the Droids He Was Looking For

Feel the parable of the dark side.

What About Pneumonia?