Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Doctor Who, Hear Thyself!

I watched Doctor Who on the ABC last night. It's my favourite TV show. In fact it's the only TV show I watch, as I generally regard regarding TV as the past time of the vegatoid masses who are wasting their lives away. It sickens me how people can waste their lives like that instead of say spending 60+ hours trying to get through Halo on Legendary level.

Anyway, I enjoy Doctor Who and I heartily recommend you go out and buy the DVDs. Or better yet, give the money to me. Well, I suppose you could use the money to prevent children dying of preventable disease in developing countries, but don't blame me if you can't get to sleep at night from your guilty conscience if it turns out I don't have enough money to buy Halo III and a small châteaux to play it in.

But I'm afraid last night's episode wasn't quite up to it's usual standard. Just why they didn't send the script to me for final approval I'll never know. Sometimes even the Prime Minister acts without seeking my approval first, the impetuous fool. Anyhow, it was a classic Doctor Who moment. The Doctor and his companion, all be it a temporary one, were making their way down a tunnel lined with dormant Cybermen, emotionless cyborg killers and the Doctor's implacable foes. The Doctor's not so young companion says, "Doctor, that Cyberman just moved!" And the good Doctor replies, "Nah, it's just the torchlight."

Now that bit of dialogue made me think, "Doctor, have you been paying any attention at all for like the last nine hundred years? If someone says the Cybermen are moving, then the Cybermen are freaking moving!" I find it amazing that for hundreds of years the Doctor has been travelling to planets and telling people who never once believe him that they are in great danger and then when someone tells the Doctor that he is in danger he doesn't believe them. How very... human of him.

Suffice to say I found this much more frustrating than the fact that a few minutes later Cybermen, who happen to have metal legs, metal bodies, wear metal boots and sound like a locomotive when they go for a stroll, managed to sneak up on them.

And in these liberated times should they really be called the Cybermen? Shouldn't they be called the Cyberpeople? Then you could have a law enforcement Cyberperson, a construction Cyberperson, a biker Cyberperson, a cowperson Cyberperson and an Indigenous American Cyberperson and they could sing:

Hu-man, there's no need to feel pain,
I said, Hu-man, we can scoop out your brain,
I said, Hu-man, we can all be the same,
There’s no need to be deleted.

Hu-man, you can join the great,
I said, hu-man, rejects we’ll incinerate,
You can become, an emotionless droid,
And survive when humanity’s destroyed.

It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,
It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,

You’ll lose everything, including hate, rage and joy,
Except for an urge to destroy,

It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,
It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,

You get an emotion blocker in your body of steel,
So you can never feel…

Hu-man, are you listening to me.
I said, hu-man, what do you want to be?
I said, hu-man, we can end your nightmares,
And unlike Daleks we can handle stairs.

No one upgrades by himself,
We have the right parts on the shelf,
And just go there to the factory,
I’m sure they can process you today.

It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,
It’s fun to become a Cy-ber-person,