Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Star Trekking across a really insignificant portion of the universe when you think about it. Oh, and um spoilers. Look out for them.

STAR FLEET DIRECTIVE 104-SPOILER: The following blog post contains a summary of events that occured in the latest Star Trek movie. If you are a Star Trek fan and haven't seen the movie yet, stop reading now. If you are a Star Trek fan and you do manage to stop reading, you are obviously not completely human. Report to Star Fleet headquarters at once to have that alien parasite removed from your brainstem.

I would have placed the following under a fold, but unfortunately, due to a HTML error, attempting to put a fold in a Blogger page results in a fold in the space time continuum. I asked Scotty about the situation and he said, "She canne take it anymore! She's gonna blow!" Unfortunately I didn't know if he was talking about the internet, the Enterprise or Kirk's latest girlfriend.


STARFLEET: James T. Kirk, could you tell us in your own words how you saved Earth?

KIRK: Certainly. After Vulcan was destroyed I disobeyed my comanding officer until he threw me off the ship. Then I reboarded the ship without permission and taunted the Captain about his dead mother until he had a mental breakdown. Then I took control of the ship. I can't believe I got away with that. Then, instead of beaming some nukes or photon torpedoes or our anti-matter filled reactor core over to the enemy Romulan ship, I beamed just myself and a guy who had just mental break down and had tried to kill me. I thought it would help us to bond. We shot a dozen Romulans and were able to evade the rest because Romulans have no concept of waste space. Then Spock stole a ship and got the Romulans to chase him away from the earth while I rescued Captain Pike. Fortunately we had enough time to do this as the Romulans didn't realize that a black hole on the surface of a planet will destroy it just as much as one in its core. Then all we had to do was crash a ship full of black hole juice into the Romulan ship and quite possibly cause it to get sucked through time again. Then Scotty ejected the warp core to propel us away from the black hole because going into orbit is for sissies. Scotty often uses a similar technique using a stick of dynamite to get his chevy into or out of difficult parking spaces. And that's about it.

STARFLEET: Kirk, you are a risk taking idiot who somehow managed to get lucky. As such, we have no problem handing over one of earth's few remaining starships to your command. We'll even let you choose as second in command a man who tried to strangle you to death on the bridge and who is having a relationship with a woman you have been stalking for three years. We forsee no possible negative consequences from this at all.

The Heritage Foundation is Lying About the Cost of the Waxman-Markey Carbon Trading Bill

The Heritage Foundation in the United States has produced a report saying that the carbon emission trading scheme currently under consideration, which will reduce CO2 emissions by about 1.8% annually, will cost the average American family $1,500 US a year, apparently for the next forty years.

This is a load of dingos' kidneys. I know that this is a load of dingos' kidneys because with $1,500 a year the average American family could afford to cut their CO2 emissions by a heck of a lot than 1.8% a year. For example they could buy insulation, install a geothermal heat pump, purchase a hybrid or a plug in hybrid when their old car needs replacing, install solar panels and or a micro wind turbine or fuel cell. Plant trees, add biochar and powdered olivine to the garden, etc. Note that most of these actions will actually save money and leave the family better off. But according to the Heritage Foundation a carbon trading scheme, which is a method of cutting carbon emissions at the lowest cost, will somehow end up costing families $1,500 a year with no benefit. These dingo’s kidneys are fetid. I’m astounded that the Heritage Foundation can still find people willing to gobble them up.

The Heritage Foundation is lying. They are not just stupid, otherwise I would expect their mistakes to be in random directions rather than always in the, “Carbon dioxide is fun and who needs icecaps anyway?” direction. It is not necessary to consciously lie to be a liar. All that is required when you are writing something you are passing off as an authoritative report is not to perform necessary intellectual hygiene. For example, do I have all the facts? Have I run this by someone who actually knows what they are talking about? Could some 12 your old with aspergers tear me a new one on this? And so on.

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That's right! I used to have a blog.

Well, what do you know? The deep hypnosis combined with dropping acid worked. (That is, a 25 kilogram bag of tartaric acid dropping on my head.) I now recall the password to my blog.