Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Do you support nuking the sun or do you support terrorism?

Why should we nuke the sun? Because we've got the bomb, that's why! Two words - nuclear atomic weapons! The sun, Alpha Centuri, Betelgeuse, they can have all the hydrogen they want, they can have a big hydrogen cake walk right through the middle of intersteller space and it won't make a lick of difference, because we've got the bomb, Okay? Edward Teller's not dead - he's frozen! And when we find a cure for backstabbing we're going to thaw him out and he's going to be pretty annoyed. You know why? You ever been stabbed in the back? Well multiply that by 15 million times and that's how annoyed Edward Teller's going to be. I'm gonna get Edward Teller and Fred Hoyle and Louis Slotin and we're going to fly down to the sun with 600 tons of lithium. If only we'd nuked the sun earlier we'd be at Alpha Centuri by now. But no, we had to wait and now scientists say the Solarians have been conducting extensive underground nuclear tests for some time now. Long enough to bathe the earth in deadly, skin cancer causing radiation. If we don't act now what will you tell your children when they look up at you with their innocent little faces and ask, "Mommy, Daddy, why is the sun still shining?"

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