Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

George Bush Explained!

If you have been following the United States foreign policy over the past six years, you have my sympathy. And no doubt the actions of their president have made you think, "What the hell is he doing?" (If you haven't thought this I suggest you go and read a book on cost/benefit analysis, or history, or indeed just a book.) But after reading a Ray Bradbury story I believe I now understand what's happened. Obviously someone has travelled back in time to the Cretaceous and stepped on a butterfly. As a result we are now in one of those weird timelines where history is all screwed up for no adequately explained reason. Now all we need is an etomologist, a microsurgeon and a time machine to make things right.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Why don't children do end runs around their parent's wills?

Today I heard another story about a elderly man who kept changing his will whenever one of his children upset him. Now he's dead he's left behind half-a-dozen wills and the children are all fighting over his estate. What I wonder is why don't the children of rich but crotchety parents visit a solicitor and sign a contract where they agree to pool and equally divide whatever they receive from their parent's estate? They can also agree on a division of family heirlooms in advance. I have never heard of this being done despite the amount of misery it would save many families. Instead of competing with their siblings in being nice to their parents they would only have to be nice enough to make sure their parents don't give away their assets to friends, more distant relatives and charity. That alone would be worth a lot and dramatically cut down on the amount of hipocracy in the world.

Australian Government sees light on Iraq

Today a member of our glorious Australian government announced that Australian troops would remain in Iraq and continue to train Iraqi troops. The minister said that first Iraqi troops would be taught to crawl, then they'd be taught to walk and then they'd be taught to run. I'm glad to see that the government has finally realized that running is the most important survival skill for Iraqis these days.

Since the people responsible for the invasion are not going to pay for the tens to hundreds of thousands of Arabic speaking troops and police required to stabilize the situation, running (phased withdrawal as non English speakers say) might be a least worst solution for coalition* troops.

*The U.S. army has the nonsensical slogan "Army of One." This appears to be preperation for the equally nonsensical "Coalition of One."