Allow Me To Elucidate

Just how pointless is the American government shutdown? Allow me to explain in terms Australians can understand. Imagine that Australia's Prime Minister appeared live on national TV and, using only his hands and teeth, slowly and methodically devoured a live koala. The US shutdown is even more pointless, as at least Tony would get a good feed out of that.

Time Heals All Enzyme Deficiencies

I just drank a three liter bottle of milk.  It's been months since the doctor told me I was lactose intolerant so I must be over it by now.

The Supply Situation On The Eastern Front Becomes Perilous.

Fritz:  I am two years older than you so I get the gun and you get the binoculars.
Hans:  No fair!  I'm telling the Oberfeldwebel!
Fritz:  Tell it to the marines!
Hans:  If I find any in this Ukrainian snow storm I'll be sure to. 

Less Curiouser and Less Curiouser

The US spent $2.5 billion sending an amazing robotic explorer to Mars and has now shut it down for no good reason. And what bad reason do they have for shutting it down? Well, as far as I can tell they shut the Curiosity rover down because they don't want black people to have health care. No, I don't understand it either. As far as I am aware the mars rover was not giving medical treatment to black people on mars.

UPDATE: They didn't actually shut down the Curiosity rover.  I mention this fact despite the fact that it is a fact and we appear to have moved beyond such petty considerations as a society.