Intelligent Designers: “God not supernatural”

I’ve found a Chicago Tribune article that contains an earth shattering idea. The concept is a little hard to assimilate, but the ramifications are astounding:

HARRISBURG, Pa. - (KRT) - A Pennsylvania biochemist testified in federal court here Monday that intelligent design, a view critical of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, is a scientific theory that doesn't require involvement of a supernatural agent, although he said he believes the intelligent designer is God.

So he’s saying that God is not necessarily supernatural? That’s exactly the sort of intelligent idea I’ve come to expect from the Intelligent Design crowd. It’s an incredible concept and it explains so much. You see I’ve met this God. He was a crazy, smelly, old man I met under a bridge one night who revealed his divinity to me. The fact that he’s not supernatural would explain why he slept in a cardboard box. It would also explain why he alternated between talking to dirt and stomping on it. “What? No flagella?” he’d cry. “Why you worthless excuse for a procaryote! I’ll show you what I think of bacteria that can’t be bothered to develop intricate molecular machinery!”

He’s obviously been wandering the earth for billions of years and since he doesn’t have any supernatural abilities he’s must have been Intelligently Designing life with the only tool available to him, a club. It wouldn’t take much for a man with unlimited time, a sturdy length of wood and a mean streak a light year long to affect the evolutionary course of a great many species.

"We infer design when parts appear to be arranged for a purpose," Behe said, noting that the more parts involved, in a process such as blood clotting, for example, the more confidence there is in a design component.

Yep, with a knife made of a shard of stone, in a few million years a non-supernatural god could provide a fair amount of selection pressure for the development of efficient blood clotting just by slashing any animals that had the misfortune to get in his way. He could also foster the development of human intelligence by snapping the necks of ape-like creatures that weren’t smart enough to run like hell when they saw him.

You know, I like the intelligent designer’s idea of a non-supernatural god who is obviously completely insane and bloodthirsty. He’s not a distant God with incredible powers, but just a man who walks the earth like us. And kills those who don’t fit his design.


If God had a game what would it be?
And if he wasn’t supernatural
Would it be Intelligent Design with his bare hands
And would you fear those hands so steeped in blood

Yeah yeah God is cruel
Yeah yeah God wants blood
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us,
With a rock chasing after us,
Throwing the poorly designed under a bus,
Trying to make us stronger bones

If God made a race
What would it look like?
And would you want to flee,
If fleeing meant you wouldn’t have to believe,
In nuts like Behe and Intelligent Design
And all that bullshit

Yeah yeah God is nuts
Yeah yeah God is psycho
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
And designing was his lust,
He would kill us without a fuss
Trying to create a blood cascade
Killing failures along the way
Not caring how many have to pay
Supernatural is not what he is
As just a man he must exist
And so he Intelligently Designs with a fist