ANZAC Day Apparently Radically Changed in Meaning About 10 Years Ago
I went to university today to start a new semester of learning how to dominate humanity and I parked on the oval as one does when all the normal parking spaces are chocka*. As I did, a gentleman handed me a strange bundle of fibrous material. After staring at it in shock for a few seconds I realised it was a newspaper, which is a wad of paper with information, or news, printed on it. It didn't take me long to recognise it, as I'd just recently seen something similar in Sydney. They used to be quite common before the internet caught on. I opened it up randomly to page 12 and saw they were were bravely trying to give the internet a run for its money in the field of blatant stupidity.
In an article entitled, “New bid to pardon Breaker Morant”, David Jean wrote the following opening paragraph: “It took 30 years to recognise the contributions of Australians who fought in Vietnam and 60 years to recognise that the Australians who fought on the Kokoda Track were genuine heroes.”
How very true. Why every year on Anzac Day we used to gather around and spit on my grandfather. And we only stopped doing this in the year 2002 when we suddenly realised that he was a genuine hero. Before that we thought this whole World War II thing old people kept going on about was just bullshit.
*For Americanoids and others who don't know the word chocka, it means completely full. It's a perfectly cromulent word as evidenced by its use by Shakespeare:
SERGEANT: For brave Macbeth--well he deserves that name--
Disdaining fortune, with his brandish'd steel,
Which smoked with bloody execution,
Like valour's minion carved out his passage
Till he faced the slave;
Which ne'er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him,
Till he unseam'd him from the nave to the chaps,
And fix'd his head upon our battlements.
BERYL: Wouldya like some more pavlova, luv?
DUNCAN: Nah, piss off. I'm chocka.
--From Shakespeare's McBeth, Queensland Folio.