Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Edwin Hubble versus Fred Hoyle Celebrity Deathmatch! ('Cause they're both dead.)

So last night the neighbour started channelling Edward Hubble and got into a drunken fight with the ghost of Fred Hoyle. "You want a big bang? I'll give you a big bang!" cried Hoyle before spurting ecoplasm everywhere. (Who you gonna call? A good drycleaner, that's who.) Anyway, I was on the phone to Satoshi Tajiri at the time discussing beetles and the sound of the ruckus next door inspired me to pitch an idea to him about putting stars in the ring and getting them to fight. He said this had already been done with Celebrity Deathmatch and I said, "No, stars as in actual immense balls of flaming hydrogen. The neat thing is the stars will be the stars!" Satoshi fell silent for a minute, I could tell he was astounded by my idea, and then he said he'd get back to me. I have a feeling this could be as big as Pokemon:

RED DWARF: I may be small, but my FLARE POWER shall defeat him!

MANAGER: Take it easy Red Dee. You've got the stamina to go the full 15 billion years, just keep your distance in the first round or BLUE HYPERGIANT will catch you with his SUPERNOVA STRIKE. But if you are at apogee when he lets loose you can take it and then just circle around him for the next 14 billion years and win on points. But whatever you do, don't get cocky and stay the hell away from his event horizon.


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