The Adventures of Dead-Eye Dick
I’ve been thinking about designing a computer game. I mean, just look how much money they made with Halo where you get to shoot aliens. Just think how popular a Dick Cheney computer game where you get to shoot lawyers would be. And just like an action hero he already has his witty trademark phrase, "Go f&*# yourself."
The first level can have him shuffling through the White House shooting away patches of Clinton's semen which he can detect with his cyborg spermovision. Then he can go on to shoot hippy protesters, his own credibility, Hans Blix, the budget, people who mention his five Vietnam deferments, the reality based community, poor people and so on. But some people will no doubt be disapointed by the fact that he doesn't shoot gay people.
Although Dick moves slowly, his special ability which prevents anyone from knowing he has shot someone for 24 hours will give him the edge over his enemies.
As Dick progresses through the computer game he can collect various power ups: a pacemaker, leg vein surgery, thicker glasses, a sock puppet with unlimited presidential power, the fat of an unbaptised baby and so on.
I plan to call it, “Dick Cheney: Undisclosed Location – But Probably the Neck.” What do you think?