There is no such thing as global warming and who needs glaciers anyway?
Those stupid bloody hippies are at it again. They are whining about global warming simply because Great Southern City One has had its worst heatwave in sixty years. This goes to show how brainless these hippies are. If it's the worst heatwave in sixty years, then obviously it must have been hotter sixty years ago than it is now, proving there is no such thing as global warming! Stupid hippies! I hate you!
And what's more, this melting icecaps thing is a complete scam. I went to the beach the other day and in the couple of hours I was there the sea level actually got noticably lower. When I pointed this out to a stupid hippy he started going on about the tides and the moon's gravitational pull. What a load of nonsense! I couldn't even see the moon! Stupid hippy.