How to make the Virgin Mary cry in five easy steps

1. Take one glazed porcelain statue of the Virgin Mary.

2. Chip the glaze around the eyes.

3. Stand it in liquid.

4. Wait for the statue to absorb the liquid and start to leak it from the eyes.

5. Commence bilking the credulous out of their money or just enjoy the attention. Your choice.

Note, when people start claiming miracles associated with your crying statue it is vitally important that you don’t believe in them. Otherwise you’ll end up as one of those sad people who fake a miracle for either attention or money and wind up justifying your fakery to yourself as the will of God.