Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Shoe Review - Saucony Forum

The Saucony Forums were a very painful shoe for the first six months. They really made me regret spending the extra money and getting an expensive $35 dollar pair of shoes. But what can I say, I got sucked in by the sale hype. I was slurped right past the purchase event horizon like the fool I was. "Don't do it!" warned the prescient part of my brain. "You know that the more expensive the shoe, the more of a battle it will be to make it change shape to match your weird feet!"

"Shut up, prescient part of my mind!" I said. "It's time for me to step into the world of high class $35 shoes."

"Oh Christ, a pun..." said the prescient part of my mind and fell silent, except for the sound of a single pistol shot.

Anyway, for six months I stoically bore the pain... No wait, not stoically - stupidly. For six months I stupidly bore the pain, and then - VICTORY! My broad Queensland feet finally broke the shoes' ability to resist and they conformed to the shape of my feet and not the bizarre narrow slats that count as feet among the bulk of humanity. I had wrested comfort from the jaws of mine enemy! But then they were enemies no more, but faithful companions on many adventures, such as that time I said to Kim Jong-il, “Hey Kimmy! What's say we put on a couple of fake moustaches and drive down to Sol and pick up...


And their durability was thrilling. They lasted for years. Even when they reached the point where they looked like they were about to fall apart at any second they still comfortably ensconced my locomotory appendages for a further year, not failing in their duty to effectively shod me until now. Even the Reeboks I had didn't last that long, although I should mention that I did not obtain my Reeboks new. I inherited them.

The Reeboks were the most painful shoes I have ever owned.

You can see in the picture above the victory holes my feet wore in my Saucony Forums, improving and aerating them. And you can also see the chunk of sole torn from the heel that ended their reign of comfort.

I highly recommend purchasing Saucony Forums, provided of course, they are $35 or less. I mean, paying $40+ for a pair of shoes is just nuts. I mean, come on, they're feet! How are they going to know how much the shoes cost?

So did I replace my beloved comfortable shoes with another pair of Saucony Forums? No, I bought a pair of $16 sneakers. It's too soon to think about replacing my old companions and also too soon to consider six months of pain from breaking them in. Maybe I'll consider it after the funeral. I kept the original shoe box all this time to serve as a little coffin for them. Sleep well, sweet sneakers!

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