Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Fifty Ways To Fudge Your Data

The problem is all inside your ethics she said to me
The answer is easy if you don't take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to earn a fee
There must be fifty ways to fudge your data

She said it is my habit to intrude,
Furthermore, I hope my meaning will be lost and misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself until it sinks in, dude
There must be fifty ways to fudge your data
Fifty ways to fudge your data

You just pick a new date, mate
Cherry picking's a plan, man
Be arbitrary, Mary
Get yourself a fee
Become a hack, Mack
Appear on radio that's talkback
Become like me, see
And you'll get a fee

She said it grieves me so to see you use your brain
Don't you know a little mistruth will gently ease the strain
And I said hypothetically speaking would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't you work all through the night
And through fatigue make mistakes you'll claim are slight
Then she paid me and I realised she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to fudge your data
Fifty ways to fudge your data

Ignore fact, Jack
Mis-scale a graph, Garth
Don't care who you destroy, boy
Just get yourself a fee
Claim conspiracy, Lee
Ignore ice free arctic sea
Lie like an Aussie PM, Sven,
And get yourself a fee

- not quite by Paul Simon



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1 Comments:

At 5:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Scientists from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) once predicted a temperature rise of 0.2 degrees per decade – but are now baffled by the fact our planet’s temperature has not increased for almost two decades."

Arrgghhhh!

 

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