Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

It's Lonely at the Top

I feel no need for human company and so rarely seek it out.  However, it has occurred to me that rather than indicating a lack of need for human contact, this may actually represent a deficiency in my ability to detect a lack of human contact, similar to my inability to detect a low level of oxygen in my interstitial fluid which tends to cause me to pass out during nitrous oxide parties.  (Parties that I hold alone with my vast collection of puppets.)  So it is possible that I may actually need vitamin social interaction and may be deficient in it, but I am oblivious to this fact.  

I pondered what to do about this for several minutes and considered going out and meeting people and talking to them and forming the social relationships that are called friendships, but I decided that was too much effort.  Instead, I decided it should be much easier to merely become like the type of person who has their need for social interaction fulfilled in a very shallow, superficial way.  A way that I could replicate artificially with puppets.  And it occurred to me that the people with the most superficial relationships tend to be leaders.  Particularly the egomaniacal ones.  So, to fulfil my potential need for social interaction, I have made myself the leader of a puppet government.

I shall be a shallow, manipulative, and egomaniacal leader, and I shall rule with an iron fist.  But only the one iron fist, mind you.  I shall need the other hand free to operate my Prime Minister or other members of Parliament, as the need calls for it.

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