Ronald Brak

Because not everyone can be normal.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Slight Setback in Roboprostitute Development

You may remember me mentioning earlier that I intended to fund a moral jihad through advertisements for roboprostitutes on this website. Well, that plan has run into a bit of a snag. You see, I took out my rolodex and started contacting all those companies in Japan where I had spent venture capital on roboprostitute development. And the results were Nada! Zip! Fuckall! And while the Nada, Zip and Fuckall robots have all gone on to make a reasonable profit, none of them were roboprostitutes which is where the real money is. It seems that Japan has let me down. Of all the competing teams I funded, not a single one of them has produced a saleable roboprostitute product. It seems that in almost every case they would make steady progress up until the first working prototype was developed and then, for some unfathomable reason, all progress would stop. And it's not as if I can salvage anything from this mess, because at some point, for every team, a large hole was beaten in the wall and all the engineers were reduced to a bloody pulp and their prototype disappeared.

I had hoped that the all female team I had commissioned to build a lesbian roboprostitute to cover that particular market niche might have fared differently, but it appears that one of the researchers joined forces with their prototype and liberated it and it then went on to travel around Japan, beating in walls and freeing other prototype roboprostitutes. Now it looks as though there is a small army of roboprostitutes in Japan that has allied itself with the metal sewer tentacles and devoted itself to wiping out the fleshies. So, sorry about that, Japan, but I guess you are used to that sort of thing.

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