What the hell?
So I log onto Blogger and I see that there is a thing called Stats. I don't know if that's new or if it's always been there. Anyway, I click on it and it tells me that my blog has had 10,603 page views. If I'd been asked to guess how many page views I had, I would have said maybe a few hundred, tops. And if I didn't count art students who mistakenly come here trying to research Vincent Van Gough because I made one joke about his ear, I would have said maybe a couple of hundred. So my blog has gotten over 50 times more hits than I thought I had, and I keep getting hits even though I haven't written anything for half a year and I wasn't exactly a regular blogger prior to that. Accounting for spambots, this means I could have up to four or five real live readers every month! This is something I cannot take lightly. It's like what my uncle Ben always used to say to me (whenever I took the ball gag out), "With great hits comes great... bruising." I feel as though I should use the power of my multiple people a month audience to do good. To make the world a better place. But how can I do that? I know, I will start a moral crusade... Oh wait, is it moral to use the word crusade? I will start a moral jihad to to fight poverty, disease, and environmental destruction! It is a weighty burden, but I shall not shirk it. I shall fight for morality, ethical behaviour and plain common decency. And I shall start by writing about how electric tugs are good for seamen.
And I shall fund this moral jihad with advertisments for roboprostitutes!