Serenity Movie - How to tell if you are a Reaver.

Well I just went to the movies and I could jump on the bandwagon and go on and on about how good Serenity is, but instead I think I would perform more of a public service by answering the following letter from an imaginary person:


Dear Doctor Brak,

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. My emotions are raging out of control, I'm suffering from uncontrolable lust and I've defiled my body with a variety of sharp metal objects. Am I becoming a Reaver?

Yours sincerely,

Homocidally confused


Dear Homocidally confused,

Yes you are becoming a Reaver. Or possibly just a teenager. It's hard to tell. If you chew your own lips off, you're probably a Reaver, or perhaps just very hungry. Either way, take two aspirin and call me in the morning. If, when you call, I tell you to stop mumbling, then you've chewed your lips off in the night and you are a Reaver. Now just because you're a Reaver doesn't mean it's the end of your life. It's more likely to be the end of a lot of other people's lives instead. There are organizations that can help you recover, although admittedly most of their facilites have been razed to the ground as a result of over enthusiastic group therapy sessions; at least they try. Social support is vital for a recovering Reaver. If you fear you may have become a Reaver, try asking your friends to support you in your attempt to overcome this condition. If you've killed all your friends, try improving your social skills so you can make new friends. You'll find this is easier if you haven't chewed your lips off.

Yours in good health,

Doctor Brak