Presidents and Penises

Well, it's a day or so till the US election and the odds are overwhelmingly in favour of the presiding president winning. So basically it all comes down to penises now. About the only thing that might stop the current President from winning is if it is revealed that he put his penis somewhere he shouldn't have. And I'm not talking about an Australian shouldn't have, such as a chicken, barbed wire, or a tram conductor's pocket. I'm talking about an American shouldn't have, which oddly enough includes consenting adults. And what is even stranger, the lower the albedo of the penis the more scared Americans appear to be of it being put where it shouldn't. I don't know why this is the case, but I'm sure there must be a good reason. Maybe they're just scared of poking their eye out on it in the dark?